Being Human
by Saba's Reflection
Summary: Masaya fights with his insecure thoughts about the battle against Deep Blue as he finds the only choice he is left with is death, suicide and sacrifice...


**Being Human**

* * *

The sky was covered in a blanket of fog, grey clouds forming across the heavens. A strong gust of wind rippled the clean white shirt of Masaya Aoyama and ruffled his shaggy black hair. He pushed his stomach against the railings of the bridge as he examined the view before him with admiration. The sun would resemble a bright bulb slowly setting into the ocean which could be seen as far as the human eye could see. But Masaya wasn't exactly somebody you could call 'human'. There was always a purpose in his actions and words and there was another reason for still existing. Two years is a century for the evenly tanned kendo player. Two years was just enough for things to dramatically change.

The spark in Masaya's chestnut brown eyes faded along with the small grin which was plastered across his features. The sun disappeared and in place was a dim bulb which produced enough light to see your reflection upon the tide. The tide was soft and gentle, hardly touching the bridge in which Masaya stood on as it crashed just underneath. Masaya inhaled the cool summer air, his eyes concentrating on something beyond his vision. There has been a thought which has lingered within his mind for a number of months. No matter how hard he tries to resist making it a reality, it still slips into the center of attention and Masaya finds himself locking himself in his bedroom, afraid of the consequences.

Two years ago, Masaya revealed a new personality he had no memory of.

But he knew he was in denial.

He always knew what was to come and he knew he was endangering a million lives all at once, but it was all worth it to see Ichigo's smile everyday and to hear about how boring her day was. But when Deep Blue was defeated by the girlfriend herself, their relationship was altered somehow. Masaya figured it was Mew Aqua which caused them both to connect. He figured it was what kept his popularity high for the past few years. When Masaya unleashed the Mew Aqua within him along with his multiple personalities, his relationship with girls changed. They no longer wished to adore him and his coach did not want him to be the face of kendo in their school. Masaya had been living a lie his whole life and it was all because of Mew Aqua.

It was because of him.

Even now, Deep Blue was taunting him with threatening notes. He tempted him with promises of world domination and the heart of every girl. He promised he'd know the truth once he had fulfilled that purpose. But Masaya wasn't that kind of guy. In fact, in the darkest corners of his heart, he felt that Deep Blue still lurked around his conscience. He felt that Deep Blue had set up the romance between him and Ichigo which became a greater advantage when he transformed into Ichigo's enemy. He knew Ichigo wouldn't be able to handle it.

Maybe that's why Masaya existed.

Masaya shook his head in protest. If that was the reason he existed, he wouldn't be alive right now. He didn't even have a reason anymore. Ichigo, like millions of other girls, lost all memory of him. They politely denied any contact with him and Ichigo decided to take an interest in blonde boys and vampire hybrids. Ichigo broke his heart, regardless of the stories which foretold that Masaya would be the first to break her heart. Masaya was sure that Ichigo couldn't of managed without him though. It was him who aided her in battles against Kisshu as the Blue Knight. It was him who rescued her in the very end.

It was him who was to blame.

Masaya shook his head again, this time violently as he banged his fists against the railings. He couldn't think straight without Deep Blue speaking for him. But it wasn't Deep Blue who was in control.

It was him. It was Masaya who had his future in his hands. He had a choice.

Kill or be killed.

Masaya knew that the options were endless, but he narrowed them down to the two he couldn't possibly pick from. It was what postponed him to live longer and it gave him a reason to live for a short period of time. He had to live to make that choice and that choice he will make.

Masaya stared into the twilight moon of the night as he sighed inwards. Masaya carefully climbed onto the railings as he stood upon it. He was in a trance, his hair flowing everywhere, his bangs covering the eyes which surfaced with tears. They plunged into the ocean but Masaya did not look down to observe them. He kept his focus on the moon, the stars and the birds which were brave enough to take a flight at night. If only he was brave enough to just push himself so that he collided with death below him. Masaya started to sob freely now. his body stiff with fear. Deep Blue began to interrupt his thoughts again.

_World domination, Masaya._

"No."

_The hearts of girls?_

"I said no!"

_What about Ichigo?_

"NO!"

The constant arguments stopped as Masaya felt at peace for once. He hoped that wherever he would escape to when he died, that he'd be able to live in peace while he was dead. He would like to enjoy one of life's luxuries in the form of a mirror image rather than an isolated young man. He longed to be the reflection in the mirror because it defined so much about him. His reflection was still the same as it was before Deep Blue rose. It was the handsome, talkative and caring kendo player he came to be.

A single tear was pulled down by gravity as gravity soon took its toll on Masaya. Masaya let it pull him forward, his body hitting the ocean with a small splash. He was completely submerged underwater now, but Deep Blue still irritated him even when he was reaching death.

_You can turn back time, Masaya. Do it! Don't bring me down with you. Release me!_

Masaya held his breath underwater as he gasped for oxygen. He shook his head, declining Deep Blue's requests. The thoughts came rushing to his head like a tidal wave but soon came to a halt like the end of a song. Masaya felt the salty water rushing into his system as he couldn't help but smile. Just a little.

_Because now I have really fulfilled my purpose._

What does it mean to be human? It isn't love or hate or jealousy, it isn't misery or self-loathing or depression. It's sacrifice and it's something Masaya did for the good of the world.

And nobody will ever know.


End file.
